Nobody wants to experience pain and betrayal and grief. But as they say, one would not be able to appreciate the bright days if they hadn’t been through the dark ones. And dark they could be. The darkness can stretch for a long time and can settle at the pit of the stomach heavily, making one feel sitting at rock bottom.
And at this point, it may seem that it’s quite easier to drag someone down, especially the someone who caused this grief.
Holding grudges
The feeling of resentment towards the person who caused one pain can linger and could cause one to think of revenge. While it may provide temporary respite to the grieving person, wishing ill on somebody does not change the fact that the tragedy has already happened. It does not take away the pain. Quite the contrary, it would make one all the more bitter and untrusting.
Forgiveness
While the thought of forgiveness at this point seems unfair and undeserved, it is the only way to be kinder to one’s self. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean letting one’s oppressor off the hook, it is letting one’s own self off the darkness. By letting go of the grudges, one is letting go of the burden of pain and grief inside of them. There are things that one cannot control, and unfortunate circumstances are part of them.
Kindness
It may seem kind of the victim to forgive an oppressor, but really the victim is being kind to themselves foremost. They are doing themselves a favor by not falling even more a victim of the circumstances. Moving on and moving forward can happen—though slow, but it can happen.
Forgiveness does not also equate to forgetting. Sometimes, it is easier to let the negative feelings go, but the lessons and the memories remain. It would be quite hard to commit the same mistake twice especially if trauma sets in really hard. But for the sake of one’s own peace, one should strive to forgive.